


Fancy bumping into you

by black_kitty_cat



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bisexual Male Character, Bisexuality, Crack, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Hero Worship, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-05
Updated: 2018-06-05
Packaged: 2019-05-18 17:18:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14856911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/black_kitty_cat/pseuds/black_kitty_cat
Summary: Jake bumps into a familiar face during a coffee run. Inappropriate behaviour ensues.





	Fancy bumping into you

**Author's Note:**

> Jake Peralta is a proud bisexual man. That is all. Enjoy the story!

“Two coffees and some pastries. You’re just here for two coffees and some pastries,” Jake was muttering to himself as he waited in line. “Amy is waiting around the corner, probably leaning against the car, cranky because she hasn’t gotten her coffee yet and you’re dragging her across the city to go see a Die Hard marathon on the only Saturday she’s had off in five weeks. So you’re just going to get her some coffee and a pastry. You’re definitely not paying attention to the guy across the street who is stalking a woman.”

The line moved and Jake moved with it, keeping both eyes on what was happening across the street. The woman was looking at a dress in a shop window, seemingly unaware that there was a guy following her. A guy who was slowly closing in on her.

Jake left his place in line and was out the door, sending a quick mental apology to Amy. “She’ll understand. Duty and all that. Strange man trumps coffee. She’ll understand.” He crossed the road and ended up about halfway between the man and the woman. “Okay, Jake, come on, think of something. Oh, German tourist! No, that’s too obvious. Deranged homeless guy? No, you’re wearing clean clothes and stupid Amy made you shave, you’re just far too clean to pull that off.”

Jake saw the woman start walking again and noticed movement on his other side. He ended up just acting on instinct. He took a big step backwards and collided with what felt like a solid wall.

“Hey man, sorry ‘bout that.” He used his body to block the other guy’s path, putting his hands on the man’s arms. “Wow, those are… Hey, don’t I know you from somewhere?”

“I don’t think so,” the man said, attempting to push past Jake.

Jake kept blocking him. “No, no. Perfect specimen like you, I know I remember you from somewhere.” He frowned, but then something clicked. His eyes grew wide. “Oh my god!”

The man’s hand shot out and clamped down over Jake’s mouth. “Don’t. Please don’t. If you say anything, someone might overhear and I’m still not sure the government is over that whole thing with the Accords and Wakanda and everything. I’m not looking for trouble today.” He sighed. “If I take my hand away, are you going to be quiet?”

Jake nodded. “Oh my god,” he whispered as soon as the hand over his mouth was gone. “Captain America, I’ve had so many fantasies about you.”

“What?” Steve looked a bit taken aback.

Jake shook his head. “Not important, forget I said anything.” He looked over his shoulder to see if the woman was still in sight. “Were you tracking that lady or something? Is she dangerous? Oh, is she a spy sent to kill Tony Stark and you’re the only one who can stop her? I’m a cop, I can help!”

“No, no, nothing like that,” Steve said, quickly trying to put a stop to Jake’s theories. “She’s an associate, we’re just training. Tracking each other across the city, that sort of thing.”

“That’s so awesome. I tried to do that once, but my wife ended up pepper-spraying me. Probably should’ve told her what we were doing.” Jake shrugged. “Oh, speaking of Amy, you have to meet her!” He grabbed Steve’s hand and dragged him over to the next street, where Amy was leaning against their car. “Amy, Amy, Amy! Look!”

They were first met with silence, as Amy’s brain tried to catch up with what was happening in front of her. “Jake, oh my god, Captain America!” She slapped her husband’s arm, maybe a little bit harder than necessary.

“Jeez, Amy. Way to be a nerd. I, on the other hand, was totally cool.” Jake rubbed his arm as he turned to Steve. “This is my wife, Amy Santiago. She thinks you’re hot. Normally I’d be upset about the fact that she looks at you like she wants to climb you like a tree and bang you like a screen door in a hurricane, but honestly: samesies.”

Steve decided it was best to ignore Jake and shook Amy’s hand. “Nice to meet you. I’d love to stay and chat, but I was in the middle of something when I bumped into your husband.”

“I wish you’d bump me,” Amy sighed unabashedly.

Jake looked at Steve with wonder in his eyes. “You managed to turn her into four-drink Amy without giving her alcohol. You are superhuman!”

Amy wasn’t done yet. “You know, you’re on my freebie list.”

“Amy!”

She looked at her husband. “Don’t ‘Amy’ me, he’s on yours too.”

“Freebie list?” Steve mouthed. He wondered if he could just run away from these two strange people without attracting too much attention from the other people in the street.

“Steve? Everything okay?”

The sound of the woman’s voice was enough to stop the discussion Jake and Amy were having about their respective lists.

“Hey, it’s the woman you were following!” Steve thought Jake sounded a bit too excited.

Amy gasped. “No way. No freaking way.” She took a step forward. “Ma’am, it is an honour to meet you. My name is Amy Santiago, I’m a Sergeant at the NYPD and a great admirer of yours.” She turned to Jake. “Do you know who this is? This is Director Margaret Carter, the founder of SHIELD. She fought alongside Captain America in the war, and she… Wait.” She turned back to Peggy. “Didn’t you die a few years ago?”

Peggy shook Amy’s hand. “Sergeant Santiago, it is so lovely to meet you. However, nobody is supposed to know I am still alive. Or alive again, whichever way you decide to look at it. I hope I can count on your discretion?"

"No problem, Director Carter. Jake and I are both with the NYPD, we can keep a secret.”

Peggy shot a doubtful look Jake’s way. Thankfully Jake didn’t notice, as he was once again mesmerized by the sheer size of Steve. He reached out to squeeze Steve’s biceps.

“You should meet Terry. He’s my sergeant. You two should compete in some sort of Mister Muscle Olympics or something. That would be so awesome!”

Steve nodded. “Sure, yeah. That would be… Yeah.”

Peggy cleared her throat. “We’ll be on our way now. We don’t want to keep you from whatever you had planned to do today.” She linked arms with Steve and they started to leave.

“Wait,” Jake said, phone in his hand. “Should we maybe exchange numbers? No, that’s silly, you probably have super secret numbers that only five people in the entire world know, of course you don’t want to exchange numbers.”

Amy heard her husband beginning to fumble his words and stepped in. “If you ever need us, for whatever reason, you can find us at the 99th precinct here in Brooklyn. Detective Jake Peralta and Sergeant Amy Santiago. We’ll be happy to help.”

Steve and Peggy nodded their heads. “Thank you,” Peggy said. “Now remember: we were never here.” She winked at a flustered Amy. As she and Steve walked away, they started to argue over who had won the latest round of their game.

Amy and Jake watched them walk away. When they could no longer see them, Amy bumped her hip against Jake’s. “Babe, would you mind it if we didn’t go to that Die Hard marathon today?”

"Why not?” Jake whined.

Amy turned towards her husband and started to play with the buttons on his shirt. “I was thinking we could go back home, maybe get out of these clothes and slip into something else?”

After a few seconds of confusion, Jake finally caught on to his wife’s less-than-subtle suggestion. “Oh, I’m down with that,” he said as he put his hands on her hips and pulled her closer to him. “But who will dress up?”

Amy pressed a kiss against Jake’s neck. “I was thinking we could take turns. Would that be” – she nipped at his jaw – “an acceptable arrangement for you?”

He let out a growl and caught her lips with his. When he finally let her go, he stared lovingly into his wife’s eyes before pushing her out of his way. “Last one to the car has to put on the Captain America outfit first!”


End file.
